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Innocent Thoughts on Four Facial Hair Styles

You know, tailored dress shirts are only a small part of a well-dressed man’s wardrobe – we get that. Well-dressed also encompasses the pants you choose to wear, the shoes you buy, and even your outer wear. But a truly stylish man doesn’t just stop with what he wears. Facial hair is one of those things that can ruin even the best arrangement of the finest threads, so here are our thoughts on four common facial hair styles we see around town.

Artvictus - innocent thoughts on four common facial hair styles


The Five O’Clock Shadow

Ah, the five o’clock shadow, or, as Daniel Tosh calls it, sexy stubble for the ladies. This is where you miss shaving for a day or two. Or a few hours if you’re one of those guys that looks like a wild Chia Pet if you don’t shave every morning.

We like the five o’clock shadow look because it screams that you just might have a little bit of a wild side, which the ladies love.

But the five o’clock shadow only works if you’re dressed the part. Dress well – maybe a nice dark suit with a tailored dress shirt underneath – and you’re sophisticated and wild. Pick up a rumpled shirt from the floor of your bedroom with an equally wrinkled pair of pants and people might offer you spare pocket change.


The Short Beard

If you’re going to rock a short beard, you have to understand that you don’t grow a short beard by stopping shaving altogether but by selectively trimming and shaping. If you’ve ever grown a short beard then you’ve probably been accused of being too lazy to shave every morning, but believe us that keeping a good looking short beard is more work than a full shave every morning.

A short beard looks pretty good with a tussled look more than a clean coiffured look. If your style is an intentionally messy haircut, a sharp pair of jeans and some stylish shirts then we give you and your short beard a great big thumbs up.

If you’re more Clark Kent then shorter is better for your beard and shaping is very important. The Clark Kent’s of the world go for the “clean cut” look – an unkempt short beard isn’t clean, nor is it cut, so this is why we give you short beard wearing Clark Kent’s out there a thumbs down.


The Long Beard

Want a visual of a long beard? Think Jesus, because the long beard is also known as the Jesus beard.

Okay, we’re not going to venture too deep into any religious waters here, but Jesus is a pretty iconic religious figure so he can get away with a long beard.

You? Probably not, unless you’ve attended one or more movie premieres where you’re the star of the movie. Or unless you’re an athlete.

The danger with the long beard is that facial hair grows in pretty much any direction it feels like, so it’s really hard to keep looking neat. Plus – and this will probably give you visuals that you didn’t expect when you first started reading this post – for many guys facial hair looks like pubic hair … on their faces.  You see how you really wouldn’t want people looking at you and your pubic hair covered face?

It’s really hard to pair a long beard with anything but a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, so if your wardrobe includes any sort of dress shirts, dress pants or suits then we’re going to recommend against the long beard.


Moustaches, Goatees and Other Partial Facial Hair

For the most part, we don’t favour facial hair that’s not a full beard.

Moustaches get a hard no … unless you’re a certain type of “movie star” from the 1970’s.

Goatees are a bit passé, they were more on trend back in the 90’s and early 2000’s, but in 2015 they’re a bit dated. We’re not saying we’re a hard no on goatees – some guys can rock a goatee, even in 2015. But more guys can’t, and goatees can go so wrong so fast when guys start doing fancy shaping.

Better safe than sorry in this case so we’re giving any partial facial hair a great big thumbs down.


The Final Word

Facial hair is as important to your overall look as the clothes that you wear, so even though you might be dressed to the nines it can all go spiraling down if you don’t have an appropriate look with your facial hair. We like clean cut, but the longer the beard you wear the more careful you have to be to pull it off.

Stay stylish, Artvictus men.

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